Developmental Psychology

 John Gottman believes that there should be at least 5 positive comments for every negative comment made in a marriage. He also believes that conflicts can be beneficial, if it is kept within boundaries of mutual respect o Hostile/Engaging and Hostile/Detached Couples  There are high levels of negative comments  There is no balance between humor and affection which can lead to couples withdrawing from each other o Types of Communication  Vali ating – Being respectful and listening  Avoidant – Conflict minimization  Volatile – Frequent arguments that are balanced by humor and affection • Parenthood o Erik Erikson had used the term generativity to describe parenthood o Adoptive parents may experience the same challenges as a biological parent o Blended couples are becoming more common o Couples making the decision not to have children is also becoming very common • Types of Love o Stenberg’s Triangular Theory of Love  There are three types of love • Passion: Sexual attraction and “being in love” • Intimacy : Attachment, closeness, and connectedness • Commitment : Shared achievements and plans  Each one of these types of love, in different combinations typically yield a total of 7 years of love Types of Love Intimacy Passion Commitment Friendship X Infatuation X Empty Love X Romantic Love X X Companionate Love X X Fatuous Love X X Consummate Love X X X • Divorce o Out of the entire world, the United States has the highest divorce rate of any of the industrialized countries o Statistics show that at least 50% of marriages end in divorce o In the last 50 years, no-fault divorce laws have increased • Spousal Abuse o Spousal abuse or family domestic abuse has become more common in recent years o At least 12%of spouses in the United States will either push, grab, or shove one another o Here are 2 common ways that couples commit spousal abuse/violence

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