English Composition

English Composition Study Guide

©2018 of 84 the prompt and using academic vocabulary, however additional support would make this essay stronger. Weak Response Example: Based on the essay “Public Service Announcements”, the author explores the ideas to whether or not a controversial PSA should be allowed to be broadcasted on air. Going further into that topic, the author then begins to discuss if a level of inappropriate is being crossed. For my analysis I will uncover whether the author was able to define a stance without being biased on the topic at hand. After reviewing this essay there are some strengths that were easy to spot such as the authors use of taking an article and pulling many quotes from it. They also gave a lot of reasons on why broadcasting controversial PSAs may not be a good idea. The weaknesses displayed through the essay is also connected to the strength. By only using one source the author is showing a biased side in not finding more than one opinion on why controversial broadcasts are a good thing as well. To improve this essay the writer would need to explore both stances on why and why not controversial broadcasts are either unique and informing giving people something to talk about, or needs to be fact based giving the audience no room to question the broadcast itself. In improving their essay the author should make a point within the paragraph then defend why that point is accurate and how it is useful within the paragraph and point they are trying to make. The author could have made a better chose when they were writing for their audience. The writer had a hard time in defining an unbiased stance because their thesis was a question rather than an overall statement. For example, “Should they or should they not be shown on TV”? By answering a question with another question you lose your thought process in only trying to prove one side of the argument rather than viewing the stance from both sides. An error found within the essay is in the introduction paragraph when the author states, “Controversial PSAs should not be shown on air because they are too inappropriate?” They did a good job in their reasons on defending their point stating that the language in too inappropriate and they are too graphic. But the downfall of this essay is when the author then uses quotes from a source that we don’t know is a primary or secondary source or even if this i a reliable source. Going off of sources, there was not enough from more than one site. The essay was good in that the author did make attempts to use quotes but was unable to properly quote or use a handful of sources that would have made the essay stronger. When revising the essay, the author should work on providing a stance where the reader can properly be informed on why or why not controversial advertisements are good for society and the community or not. And if yes or no, then have proper resources and credible sources to make the authors stance on the subject stronger. The author should also try to remain unbiased in whether the companies are being effective or ineffective in their ads. Regarding inappropriate language, I’m not sure what kind of television show the author is watching but I’ve personally never seen a problem with people of certain ages watching. Maybe they shouldn’t be watching that channel station to begin with. Or if the writer truly believes this is a problem then should provide statistics on how many advertisements people found inappropriate for their child to be viewing and more importantly what television program the child was watching that makes this advertisement inappropriate. Weak Response Analysis: The writing attempts to develop a thesis statement in the introduction, but it is weak. The phrase, “For my analysis I will uncover” is not a strong way to word a thesis statement. The writer should Achieve Page 78